Wednesday, February 13, 2013

An Interview with the Fabulous Monica Prata!


In an effort to mix things up a bit and bring new insights and resources to the blog, I’ve sat down for an interview with my fabulous friend the lovely Ms. Monica Prata.

Monica and I met years ago at the First Event conference in Boston and have remained friends ever since. I’ve worked with her on several occasions and always find valuable insights within her spirited teaching style. She was the one who got me started on learning the basics of presenting myself in a way that I felt was authentic and expressed who I wanted to become. Given her talents and passion for the transgender community, I’ve been eager to have her provide some insight into her experiences. Hopefully I can convince her to do a guest article at some point (hint! hint!)


Monica is the creator of Nouveau She, 
her website describes the genuine, caring nature of what she does:

“Nouveau She provides full-range femininity training in-person and online, offering lessons in wardrobe, makeup application and deportment.  Whether you're just discovering your feminine-self or have made the decision to transition, Nouveau She will help you to improve your image and increase your confidence.  Nouveau She is not a traditional transformation studio. Here we do not play dress-up and we do not use photoshop.  With Nouveau She you'll learn how to actually be more feminine, by way of image and attitude.  Our lessons will not just wash away the second you take your makeup off.  Our objective is not to create a caricature of femininity but rather to illuminate your beauty within, bringing forth your authentic feminine-self.”

So without further ado! The interview:

Kayci: How did you become involved with working in the transgender community? Was it what you expected?

Monica: In high school I was on the debate team and became really passionate about LBGTQ rights. I wanted to write a bill to legalize same sex marriage... this was back when it wasn’t a big ticket item for people.  I was passionate to the point that people, even my mom, asked about my sexuality. I’m not gay, I just feel really strongly about it. My first job in high school was in retail at Nordstrom’s selling high-end women’s apparel. I would notice that men would come into the store looking for things for their wives or girlfriends… it was obvious that they were nervously looking for themselves. The fact that people were so uncomfortable was really saddening. I was happy to see them there, so I tried to help pick out things that would fit them. I’d find something and leave it in the dressing for them, telling them:
“Oh, while I was looking for your wife, I found a pair of “khakis” that would be great for you… I set them in dressing room 4.”

They were always appreciative… that was how it all started! I always felt comfortable with people of gender differences, I never saw a difference between them and anyone else, because there isn’t really.

Eventually, I got a job working as an artist for MAC where their motto was “All ages, All races, All sexes” which I totally identified with. A lot of times male or transgender clients would come in, but there weren’t a lot of artists who were competent or comfortable in working with trans individuals. I just enjoyed seeing how big a difference it made to them, they’d leave with big smiles on their faces, it was really nice. I left MAC after two years and started moving out on my own, doing makeup for weddings, photo shoots and that sort of thing, but I also kept many of the trans clients I had met. I realized the necessity for resources like that for the community. Eventually I started my business and things have just grown from there.

K: So now that you’ve worked within the Trans community for quite a while, what do you find the most challenging aspect of working with the trans community?

M: The most challenging part is definitely dealing with a lack of commitment from clients and a difficulty in holding people accountable. I mean, I know that privacy, discretion, lack of consistency in desires and emotional discomfort are unavoidable within the trans community but it makes it really challenging for businesses.  Secrecy, false names, and no shows all make it tough to run a business successfully and ultimately make things really complicated. I have gone on travel and had people cancel on me. If you’re truly serious, pay a deposit; it is the only way I do business now. I’m going to hold someone’s appointment, so having a guarantee they will as well is a necessity.

K: How about in a more positive light, what is the most rewarding aspect?

M: Hmm, the most rewarding aspect…. Being able to see a quantifiable change in someone … both physically and emotionally. Seeing the benefits that my work with clients creates. I mean, you’re a good example, when we first met I feel comfortable saying that you were substantially less confident. [I totally agree!] And I’m not saying the whole change is attributed to me, because of course, its not, but it is rewarding to know I was able to help be a part of that. Helping somebody be the way the want to be and live the way they want to live is always rewarding, nothing else in the style industry compares to that.

K: What is the most common advice that you give your clients? Is there anything you find yourself repeating over and over again?

M: A woman’s waistline is two to three inches above where a man’s is, so two or three inches above your belly button… that is where skirts, belts and waists should go! Such an atrocity when I see it done wrong, its really annoying… its sooo easy to fix.

[This was, I believe, the second thing Monica ever said to me. Haha, things have come a long way!]

K: What do you feel is one most important thing that most trans-women overlook when it comes to personal style and expressing themselves?

A lot of people overlook mannerisms, it is a big missing piece, and it’s hard to learn to resocialize as female. I’ve seen people that will have recovered from surgery, been on hormones for years, and complain about getting “clocked” or “read”… all the physical things are in order but they still kind of act like men. It’s easy to overlook the importance of mannerisms and it isn’t something that has instant gratification, it’s a process… its takes a long time, but is worth it in the end.

Just to be confident and feel comfortable. Many people just need to put aside feelings of guilt and enjoy expressing and connecting with their femininity. Be there in the moment. Smile!... I’m constantly telling people to smile. Being comfortable puts others at ease and makes them comfortable. That is the resounding theme in everything I do.

K: Do you have any advice for those who are perhaps early in transition or still closeted and are self conscious or afraid of making those first steps into the world?

M: A client of mine once said:
             “Once I stopped worrying about being feminine and concerned myself with being my most beautiful person, my world completely opened up and I was comfortable.”
            You can’t get too hung up on looking perfect… Oh my god, I don’t look perfect, I don’t look flawless. Women don’t look flawless; we make mistakes all the time. The inner beauty and confidence is what ultimately translates. Focus on being your most beautiful true self rather than being your most perfectly feminine self.

K: That pretty much does it for my questions, thank you so much for taking time to chat with us Monica!

M: You’re welcome! I love you, you’re like a magical unicorn of a person.

K: Thanks [laughing], As we wrap up is there anything you’d like to share with the readers before we go?

M: I’d just like to let people know that I do a lot of appointments through Skype and it’s been very successful, we have a great time. Most people don’t realize that we can do so much over Skype from make-up lessons to personalized online shopping consultations, it’s always fun. 

I’ll also be out on the east coast March 1st through 12th in New York City, if anyone is interested in setting up a meeting. After that I’ll be at Keystone Conference the 13th -16th in Harrisburg, PA.


If you are interested in contacting Monica to setup an appointment or simply to find out some more info…

Find her on Facebook on the Nouveau She page 
Be sure to show her some love with a “like”!

Or

Visit her website at http://www.nouveaushe.com/


As always, be sure to “like” A Stylish Transition on Facebook and share with all of your friends!

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