In an effort to mix things up a bit and bring new insights
and resources to the blog, I’ve sat down for an interview with my fabulous
friend the lovely Ms. Monica Prata.
Monica and I met years ago at the First Event conference in
Boston and have remained friends ever since. I’ve worked with her on several
occasions and always find valuable insights within her spirited teaching style.
She was the one who got me started on learning the basics of presenting myself
in a way that I felt was authentic and expressed who I wanted to become. Given her talents and
passion for the transgender community, I’ve been eager to have her provide some
insight into her experiences. Hopefully I can convince her to do a guest
article at some point (hint! hint!)
Monica is the creator of Nouveau She,
her website describes
the genuine, caring nature of what she does:
“Nouveau She provides full-range
femininity training in-person and online, offering lessons in wardrobe, makeup
application and deportment. Whether you're just discovering your
feminine-self or have made the decision to transition, Nouveau She will help
you to improve your image and increase your confidence. Nouveau She is
not a traditional transformation studio. Here we do not play dress-up and we do
not use photoshop. With Nouveau She you'll learn how to actually be more feminine,
by way of image and attitude. Our lessons will not just wash away the
second you take your makeup off. Our objective is not to create a
caricature of femininity but rather to illuminate your beauty within, bringing
forth your authentic feminine-self.”
So without further ado! The interview:
Kayci: How did you
become involved with working in the transgender community? Was it what you
expected?
Monica: In high
school I was on the debate team and became really passionate about LBGTQ
rights. I wanted to write a bill to legalize same sex marriage... this was back when it wasn’t a big ticket item for people. I was passionate to the point that people, even my mom,
asked about my sexuality. I’m not gay, I just feel really strongly about it. My
first job in high school was in retail at Nordstrom’s selling high-end women’s
apparel. I would notice that men would come into the store looking for things
for their wives or girlfriends… it was obvious that they were nervously looking
for themselves. The fact that people were so uncomfortable was really
saddening. I was happy to see them there, so I tried to help pick out things
that would fit them. I’d find something and leave it in the dressing for them,
telling them:
“Oh, while I was looking for your wife, I found a pair of
“khakis” that would be great for you… I set them in dressing room 4.”
They were always appreciative… that was how it all started!
I always felt comfortable with people of gender differences, I never saw a
difference between them and anyone else, because there isn’t really.
Eventually, I got a job working as an artist for MAC where
their motto was “All ages, All races, All sexes” which I totally identified
with. A lot of times male or transgender clients would come in, but there
weren’t a lot of artists who were competent or comfortable in working with
trans individuals. I just enjoyed seeing how big a difference it made to them,
they’d leave with big smiles on their faces, it was really nice. I left MAC
after two years and started moving out on my own, doing makeup for weddings,
photo shoots and that sort of thing, but I also kept many of the trans clients I
had met. I realized the necessity for resources like that for the community.
Eventually I started my business and things have just grown from there.
K: So now that
you’ve worked within the Trans community for quite a while, what do you find the most
challenging aspect of working with the trans community?
M: The most
challenging part is definitely dealing with a lack of commitment from clients and
a difficulty in holding people accountable. I mean, I know that privacy,
discretion, lack of consistency in desires and emotional discomfort are unavoidable
within the trans community but it makes it really challenging for businesses. Secrecy, false names, and no shows all
make it tough to run a business successfully and ultimately make things really complicated.
I have gone on travel and had people cancel on me. If you’re truly serious, pay
a deposit; it is the only way I do business now. I’m going to hold someone’s
appointment, so having a guarantee they will as well is a necessity.
K: How about in a
more positive light, what is the most rewarding aspect?
M: Hmm, the most
rewarding aspect…. Being able to see a quantifiable change in someone … both
physically and emotionally. Seeing the benefits that my work with clients creates. I mean,
you’re a good example, when we first met I feel comfortable saying that you
were substantially less confident. [I totally agree!] And I’m not saying the whole change is
attributed to me, because of course, its not, but it is rewarding to know I was
able to help be a part of that. Helping somebody be the way the want to be and
live the way they want to live is always rewarding, nothing else in the style
industry compares to that.
K: What is the most
common advice that you give your clients? Is there anything you find yourself
repeating over and over again?
M: A woman’s
waistline is two to three inches above where a man’s is, so two or three inches
above your belly button… that is where skirts, belts and waists should go! Such
an atrocity when I see it done wrong, its really annoying… its sooo easy to
fix.
[This was, I believe, the second thing Monica ever said to
me. Haha, things have come a long way!]
K: What do you feel
is one most important thing that most trans-women overlook when it comes to
personal style and expressing themselves?
A lot of people overlook mannerisms, it is a big missing
piece, and it’s hard to learn to resocialize as female. I’ve seen people that
will have recovered from surgery, been on hormones for years, and complain
about getting “clocked” or “read”… all the physical things are in order but
they still kind of act like men. It’s easy to overlook the importance of
mannerisms and it isn’t something that has instant gratification, it’s a
process… its takes a long time, but is worth it in the end.
Just to be confident and feel comfortable. Many people just
need to put aside feelings of guilt and enjoy expressing and connecting with their
femininity. Be there in the moment. Smile!... I’m constantly telling people to
smile. Being comfortable puts others at ease and makes them comfortable. That
is the resounding theme in everything I do.
K: Do you have any
advice for those who are perhaps early in transition or still closeted and are
self conscious or afraid of making those first steps into the world?
M: A client of mine
once said:
“Once
I stopped worrying about being feminine and concerned myself with being my most
beautiful person, my world completely opened up and I was comfortable.”
You
can’t get too hung up on looking perfect… Oh my god, I don’t look perfect, I
don’t look flawless. Women don’t look flawless; we make mistakes all the time.
The inner beauty and confidence is what ultimately translates. Focus on being
your most beautiful true self rather than being your most perfectly feminine
self.
K: That pretty much
does it for my questions, thank you so much for taking time to chat with us
Monica!
M: You’re welcome! I
love you, you’re like a magical unicorn of a person.
K: Thanks
[laughing], As we wrap up is there anything you’d like to share with the
readers before we go?
M: I’d just like to let people know that I do a lot of
appointments through Skype and it’s been very successful, we have a great time.
Most people don’t realize that we can do so much over Skype from make-up
lessons to personalized online shopping consultations, it’s always fun.
I’ll also be out on the east coast March 1st
through 12th in New York City, if anyone is interested in setting up
a meeting. After that I’ll be at Keystone Conference the 13th -16th
in Harrisburg, PA.
If you are interested in contacting Monica to setup an
appointment or simply to find out some more info…
Find her on Facebook on the Nouveau
She page
Be sure to show her some love with a “like”!
Or
Visit her website at http://www.nouveaushe.com/
As always, be sure to “like” A Stylish Transition on
Facebook and share with all of your friends!
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